I wait for an appointment to meet with the vet who killed Murphy and the Senior vet. I have been waiting for some time for this to be convenient. I can wait. While I wait I write down the random thoughts that arrive in my mind.

I have heard about the importance of the way that words are phrased. I didn’t give it too much attention. Now as I reread Murphy’s notes and the senior vet’s summary I realise the passive tense is king.

Nobody writes “I stressed your dog ” They write “he became stressed”. See how the responsibility shifts? I had the nurse hold you in a way that you couldn’t breathe and ….silly boy, you became stressed. Now if you hadn’t gone and got stressed my lovely scan would have been easy and I wouldn’t have needed to keep stressing you until you died. Bad dog.

I notice the power of this simple shift from the active to the passive tense. In one move, worthy of a table magician, the blame passes from the vet to the dog.

He got stressed….bad choice Murphy. (passive tense)

I gave oxygen…..good for me. (active tense…I am proud of this)

I tried again…….active tense because this is for his good after all.

He got stressed and went blue……..silly dog (passive tense).

I gave him little rests until his colour got better…..another great intervention by me (active tense)

He died……..yet another bad choice Murphy. (passive tense). No possibility of writing “I killed him”. funny that. Instead it’s compressed into a short almost throwaway sentance…..”he died, O present”.

Even her grammar is full of shit.