Today I took Timmy to see the other senior vet. The one my dogs have seen almost exclusively for years. Timmy’s infected ear has not resolved so I had to bite the bullet and go. The arrangement is that my dogs now only ever see one of the 2 senior vets. It was not easy to make this decision but I know they are both good and I trust them. There are plenty of poor practices in the city. I don’t want to jump out of the frying pan into the fire. I’m seeing if this works anyway.

He was very kind. He is a gentle straightforward man. He had phoned me at home the day Murphy died. I have no memory of what I said during that call. I could see he was really sorry about the whole thing. It was particularly difficult because today he was consulting in the room I was sequestered in while the vet who killed Murphy “worked on him”……and as it turns out she didn’t even get that right…….but that is all for discussion when I meet her. It seems she is on honeymoon at the moment.

I cried a great deal more than I meant to. It’s very disabling when it starts in earnest. It starts in earnest when ever I talk about him. Vet was very gentle with Timmy and with me. We came out with a plan for Timmy. He said I have been such a good friend to the practice for 15 years and he is very grateful that I can continue to trust him. This moved me. I felt cared about. I felt that if he had had a magic want to wave and make it all unhappen he’d have done anything to wave it. He did not want me to leave until I felt okay abut walking back out through reception. He did not flinch when I said I thought that she had trashed Murphy. Senior vet flinches when I say stuff like that. I will feel okay taking the gang to see him. I will feel okay taking them to senior vet too. If they are ever on holiday together I will go to an emergency vet service and say I can’t get an appointment at my usual vet.

I’m rattled inside though. I’m back to shaking and not feeling like eating but that will settle down.

Oh and he shaved the bits of Timmy’s undercarriage that I am not allowed to go near. This led to a bit of ferocious gumming. I reminded vet he had taken all Tim’s teeth out last year. We both smiled. It was an OK moment in a hard 20 minutes.