I was mugged once. Grabbed from behind in broad daylight walking beside a busy road in France. Afterwards I was jumpy with nightmares for maybe a week. This is much worse. I am hypervigilant, anxious with intrusive distressing thoughts and images every day. It’s exhausting. I looked up the MIND website. It seems I have what they consider to be the 5 cardinal symptoms of PTSD. For some reason this makes me angry. I’m 70. I’ve had plenty of difficult stuff happen in 70 years. I had reached a peaceful joyful place in my life. Why should someone get to crap all over that and walk away as though nothing of any consequence happened and after all she did nothing wrong? “Sadly he died, O present”….case closed tra la.

I wonder how often this sort of thing does happen.

I don’t want to pathologise my upset. I don’t want it “fixed” either, even if it is disabling and unpleasant. I think it continues because there is unfinished business. She may have closed the case and walked away but I haven’t.